Releasing

Last week was a long week.  I was out of town in a place that didn’t agree with me most of the time.  I’m glad to be home.

In a wise move I scheduled a short private lesson for yesterday morning.  I was offered this opportunity because I gave some feedback to a local studio otherwise it would never have happened.  I would never have even thought about taking a private yoga lesson.

While it was short, it was valuable.  I learned a lot from having the entire focus of a very experienced teacher.  Not only did she help me open up from being mostly sedentary for the past week but she also helped me open up emotionally.  I found myself vocalizing many of my recent experiences about my injury.  She was very affirming and positive and lead me to understand that being forgiving with myself isn’t weakness but a strength that I’m building.

Regular yoga class tonight.  Can’t wait to get back on the mat.  I’m nervous because I haven’t done anything for a week: how will I feel?  How much have I lost?  Was there anything gained last week (besides vacation weight???)?  But I know now that I can and should and will be patient with myself.  Maybe I’ll find myself in my new & improved child’s pose.  And that’s OK.

Every class offers something:  Child’s pose has always been an issue for me.  I see other yogis with their butts on their heels and fail in that comparison.  My rear is in the air.  WHY?  In my private lesson I had the chance to ask.  Seems that it’s not anything I’m doing or not doing but it’s a simple matter of me getting in my own way.  I have muscular calves and thighs; they take up room.  Ta da!  My rear won’t meet my heels because I’m not built in such a way to do so.  My teacher suggested bifurcating (physically moving my calves out away from each other).  That definitely helped me sink lower and find more release.  But the greater release came in the understanding that there’s nothing I’m doing wrong and accepting that it is what it is.