Who hasn’t heard this or something like it? I’ll confess – I poo-pooed it. Whatever. Clearly I’m more of a Popeye follower – I yam who I yam. Until.
There’s always an “until,” am I right?
Last night I went to a class that I don’t usually attend. It’s a bit faster, a bit deeper, a bit more challenging. Loved it. Well, most of it.
After we warmed up with some vigorous Sun Salutations we went into a standing pose sequence that asked us to hold each pose for a number of breaths. In every case I came out of the poses early. I felt like I was fighting the poses and ended up at Savasanna pretty stressed out (thank goodness for Savassana!).
On the way home (confession: during Savasanna) I couldn’t get this out of my head: Why did I fall out of the poses? “Fall out” is too passive. There was no falling. I left those poses. Why? I had no trouble getting in to them. I held them for a couple of breaths pretty easily. Then….
Hm. It hit me – when the poses got challenging; when I got tired; when I got bored I quit.
When I got challenged, when I got tired, when I got bored I quit.
I have known this about myself forever. And recognized it, admitted to it, for years. I’ve also lived in denial most of that time. As I stood on my mat last night while everyone else was still in Warrior III there was no denying it.
They say that recognizing the issue is half of the solution.
I want to go back. Rewind. Do that class again. And do it well. Do it to the very best of my abilities. I don’t want to give up on myself. I won’t give up on myself again.